Ban Dirtgirl World and bring back Bowler hats

As you know I got rather into this whole election process.  Odd for me, but enjoyable nonetheless.  I got a bit ranty about the Clegg power trip, but I am by and large happy with the outcome.

But amid all their promises of a "stronger society" and a "stable future" what do we really want from this shiny new government?

If I had a magic wand, or just perhaps a big dirty secret I could use to blackmail Cameron with, here's what I'd do:

1. Bring back the bowler hat for civil servants and bankers.  I just like the Mary Poppins-ness of them.

2. Put extra seats on commuter trains for very tired mothers, or better still beds.  Fine anyone for using them who is not displaying humungous grey bags and a look of complete defeat.

3. Provide free of charge night nannies, once a week for all new mothers, to give them a much needed nights sleep (not sure how to overcome the breastfeeding issue here, but as far as I can see most policies have massive great big holes in them).

4.  Provide government grants for anyone wishing to retrain for a new career.   Whatever that career may be.

5. Make winters cold & summers hot.

6.  Free Tampax (yes that's the feminist in me).

7. Incentive grants for UK holidays to reduce carbon emissions and air traffic (that's quite cool actually, could be onto a winner there).

8. Ban traffic on the A24 Leatherhead road on Sundays.

9. Make all people in public service positions smile.

10. Ban CGI remakes of children's programmes.  Noddy and Winnie the Pooh just aren't right anymore.  Oh and ban Dirtgirl World. It's just plain WRONG.

What would you do?

Inspired by Josie's prompt: What’s YOUR party manifesto?