Parking rage

Maybe it's the Londoner in me, maybe it's because a car is a commodity to get you from a to b or maybe it's because my toddler had just fallen asleep in the car and I needed to park as close as possible to the local butchers.

But I parked in a VERY small spot (that is the Londoner in me), pretty much bumper to bumper.  But it was okay because on either side of me the cars had room to either reverse or go forward and so get out.  Ok they needed to be able to manoeuvre the car with reasonable skill (like me, clearly), but it wasn't exactly difficult.

So imagine my surprise when the couple who came to claim the car in front got all huffy with me.  Now I don't often say huffy, because I don't often experience it, not having any teenagers in the house.  But this is the only way to describe their reaction.  I was getting the pram out of the boot when the man started tutting and looking at me like I was the lowest form of life.  A mother, with a baby and a pram.  Good lord.  Forgive me.

The lady (who was not averse to the odd cream cake by the looks of it, okay I'm being childish but they were really MEAN), also gave me an exasperated tut.  So, never one to miss the chance of a bit of confrontation, I said:

"Sorry, is there something wrong?"

"Well, just look at how close you are?!"  Mr Huffy.

"Er, yes I am a bit hahaha"

"I don't think it's particularly funny actually, did you even look to see how close you were?"  Mrs Huffy

"Yes.  Clearly.  I parked behind you, so obviously I had to study the distance in quite some detail"

Much huffing and muttering under breath, followed by a retreat to the car.  But I was not letting this go.  Oh no.

"You clearly seem to have some sort of problem with this? I'm not entirely sure why"

At this point, Mr Huffy came back, got on hands and knees to examine his bumper.

"I didn't hit you"  Me.

"Well how would I know?" Mr Huffy.

Huh?

"Well presumably if I had hit you, your close examination would show that"

"Not necessarily" Mr Huffy

"Right [bit confused] but if there's no damage then even if I did hit you, WHICH I DIDN"T, what's the problem?" Me

"Oh what's the problem?  What's the problem?  You were SO close you COULD have hit me!" Mr H.

"Well yes I could have done, I could have won the lottery, but I didn't, so I'm not sure what your problem is" Me

"Grrrr, grrrr oh fuck off"  Mr H.

"Excuse me did you just swear at me?"

"No I did not"  Mrs Huffy.

"Not you, your husband, he just swore at me for no apparent reason.  There is no damage to your car [which by the way was some sort of '90s 'jeep' which would have been better sold for scrappage], all I did was park closely which I don't think is illegal, it's actually rather clever, and yet you two have really got your knickers in a twist about it all."

At that point they both did a final, very dramatic huff, flicked me the one-fingered salute - how lovely - and left.  Back to their rather huffy life together I shouldn't wonder.

I was rather disappointed they didn't stay for more, it's a good work out for a brain that spent most of the morning negotiating with a toddler who wanted to go shopping with no clothes on.

I had intended to write about a rather lovely dress I was sent for the toddler, pictures and everything, but the best thing about a blog is the ability to offload and vent.

So you got this instead. Sorry.