1. They will ALWAYS sleep in when you have to be up early. It's just a fact of life and there is no point trying to change it, get cross about it or whinging about it. Just live with it.
2. They can go on screaming long after you have developed tinnitus. Better think of an alternative tactic to ignorning the tantrum. It rarely works.
3. Getting slapped round the face, bitten, scratched, punched, poked and generally beaten up is just their natural way of 'testing their boundaries' with you. Resist the urge to do this back to them. Could end up in prison.
4. You will be a mere husk of your former self, physcially and emotionally, if you decide to be a Good Parent and take them on a day out to say a children's farm. (A farm for children, not a farm full of children, although I believe they exist in other parts of the world).
5. You will go prematurely grey and start to wear 'comfy' shoes.
6. They always have more energy than you. Always. Don't fight it just deal with it. Then find some caffiene.
7. They will learn the words to their favourite songs before they learn to actually sing, resulting in a sort of tone deaf X factor audition. This will be VERY funny.
8. They will copy everything you say. (No Mummy, don't want the bloody blind closed!).
9. They will embarrass you in public places by farting. Loudly. Then looking at you.
10. They will look positively edible when they are asleep and you will forget points 1 - 9.
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Thanks for reading.