For some it is nails screeching down a blackboard, for others it is breaking up polystyrene, some people can't stand the sound of Mariah Carey wailing away like a strangled chicken (actually that includes me), but by far my most nerve-shredding, please-remove-me-from-this-ungodly-sound-or-i-will-self-harm noise is...whining.
My daughters' whining to be precise.
Particularly when it's mixed with a shout, so it's high-pitched AND loud.
It flicks a switch in my brain, it upsets the delicate chemical balance, it electrifies the nerve-endings (and not in a good way). It causes my dark side to emerge, full throttle and full power. My alter-ego, the woman who should never have had children, much less be left alone to care for them comes racing to the fore and wants to find the nearest sharp implement to plunge in her own ears. Oh the sweet relief that would bring. No more whining. Or rather no more listening to it.
Of course that woman is always swiftly told to go back to the stone she threatened to crawl out from under by me, Holly, the Good Mother, the woman who was supposed to have kids and is very capable of looking after them (really I am, no need for social services here, no siree).
But my God it takes some self control. I tried the old favourite:
"If you ask me in a whiney voice I can't hear you." this has had some success actually, it's well worth a shot.
I have tried ignoring the whine. This has had limited success since the whine just gets louder and more urgent before becoming a full on whingey/cry/tantrum and then you have a whole other world of pain to deal with.
So lately I have decided to impersonate them when they do it. I put on my best, most theatrical whinge and just launch straight into it. They were shocked at first, ("why is mummy not getting cross or doing what we ask?") but then they quickly found it very funny. It's nice to know I can make a 2 and a 3 year old laugh.
It takes some of the pain out of the noise. It readjusts some of the nerve-endings, it helps keep me sane.
Children are remarkably good at bouncing back from disappointment aren't they? So when they realise that whatever the whining was meant to achieve has failed, they don't dwell for long, they move on.
They are pretty damn inspirational in that sense.
My daughters' whining to be precise.
Particularly when it's mixed with a shout, so it's high-pitched AND loud.
It flicks a switch in my brain, it upsets the delicate chemical balance, it electrifies the nerve-endings (and not in a good way). It causes my dark side to emerge, full throttle and full power. My alter-ego, the woman who should never have had children, much less be left alone to care for them comes racing to the fore and wants to find the nearest sharp implement to plunge in her own ears. Oh the sweet relief that would bring. No more whining. Or rather no more listening to it.
Of course that woman is always swiftly told to go back to the stone she threatened to crawl out from under by me, Holly, the Good Mother, the woman who was supposed to have kids and is very capable of looking after them (really I am, no need for social services here, no siree).
But my God it takes some self control. I tried the old favourite:
"If you ask me in a whiney voice I can't hear you." this has had some success actually, it's well worth a shot.
I have tried ignoring the whine. This has had limited success since the whine just gets louder and more urgent before becoming a full on whingey/cry/tantrum and then you have a whole other world of pain to deal with.
So lately I have decided to impersonate them when they do it. I put on my best, most theatrical whinge and just launch straight into it. They were shocked at first, ("why is mummy not getting cross or doing what we ask?") but then they quickly found it very funny. It's nice to know I can make a 2 and a 3 year old laugh.
It takes some of the pain out of the noise. It readjusts some of the nerve-endings, it helps keep me sane.
Children are remarkably good at bouncing back from disappointment aren't they? So when they realise that whatever the whining was meant to achieve has failed, they don't dwell for long, they move on.
They are pretty damn inspirational in that sense.
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