Guardian angels

Lovely vintage scrapbook angel http://scrapworkart.blogspot.com

Lately Eliza's been having nightmares, or bad dreams as I guess they are when you're four.  Tilly's been up in the night too but I imagine that is anxiety associated with potty training and/or her own realisation that she is a girl not a cat which is causing her some disappointment.

So on Saturday afternoon we sort of accidentally watched a bit of Jurassic Park 3.  I'm not sure how this happened.  I've never been one for sequels and frankly TV on Saturday afternoons is what sequels were made for.  But happen it did.  In fact it was the bit where the T Rex is about to rip apart an aeroplane that has crashed. Nice lighthearted, kid friendly sort of stuff.  As soon as I engaged my brain I turned it off of course and we all went off and did something homely and rose-tinted like bake a cake (or there was a full scale tantrum over the TV being turned off I forget which).

But that night when I put her to bed I realised the impact Mr T Rex had had.  She was getting into bed when I saw that she was trying to be brave and not cry.

"What's up darling?"

"I feel bad Mummy."

"What sort of bad? Is your tummy hurting?"

"Monster bad Mummy."

"Oh darling there are absolutely no monsters so you don't have to feel bad."

"But Mummy are there dinosaurs?"  Presumably the mix of Jurrasic Park 3 and the trip him indoors took her on to see the dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum merged into one overwhelming confusion about whether they were actually all dead or merrily ripping apart aeroplanes somewhere.

"No. They all died hundreds of years ago."

"But Mummy you mean a billion years.  Are there other monsters?"

"A billion, yes of course, how silly of me. No there are absolutely no monsters and any way you always have me and Daddy to keep you safe.  And your guardian angel."

"What's a guardian angel?"  You know that point where you just wish you could zip back just a couple of minutes in time and not say something? This was one.  It's not that I don't believe in God and angels and all that, I think I do, it's just that it's quite a concept to try and explain, also the idea of someone watching over you has the potential to be a bit weird in my opinion (are they there when you're on the loo?). But I tried as I always do.

"Well.  You have an angel that is always with you protecting you and keeping you safe."

"Why can't I see her?"

"Well because everyone has one so it'd be really crowded if we could see them all."

"Do you have one?"

"Yes"

"Does Daddy and Tilly and Grandma and Aunty Lucy and Primrose have one?"

"Yes. Everyone."

"Even people in China and Africa?"

"Er, yes I 'm pretty sure everyone has one."

"Like in Busy Angel?"  We have a book called Busy Angel which is possibly the most charming children's book I've ever read.  It's about a guardian angel who protects sailors.  But the sailors don't listen to him so they go out in a storm and the angel has to rescue them.

"Mummy, why do we sometimes not listen to our guardian angel?"  She's learnt this from Busy Angel, she retains information like a computer.

"Well, because sometimes we think we know better so although our angel tries to tell us not to do something we do it anyway.  Like the other day when it was raining and my angel told me it wasn't a good idea to cycle to the station, but I did anyway and got soaked.  That sort of thing."

She thought about this for some time. Her eyes looking up as she considered the possibility of an angel in her room.

"But Mummy you should listen to your guardian angel next time it's raining."

"Yes I know. We should always try and listen to our guardian angels."

"Mummy. Does Milo have one?"

"Er. Yes probably.  Now do you want Topsy and Tim or Mr Pusskins tonight?"

It was an interesting conversation to have with a 4 year old but one I enjoyed. It reminded me to listen to that voice in my head, my angel or my instinct or my gut feel, a bit more.  When I don't listen to it I cock things up.  Sometimes it's just a bit difficult to hear it amongst all the other voices in my head but I know it when I hear it.  I think we all do.