“Have you been on a quad bike before?” said the rather glamorous looking female ‘trek leader’.
“Er, no, definitely not, never.” (and never thought I would frankly).
“Fine, the only danger is if you take your foot off the footwell and you might get it run over by the rear tyre, or trapped between the bike and a tree or something. Oh and be careful on the slippery mud, you might slide about a bit, keep your distance and don’t bump into each deliberately.”
Right. I am clear that I am about to go quad biking, you know that thing that Ozzy Osbourne did and almost died, I am not on a dodgem. I am bricking it.
“Right well everyone get on your bikes, most experienced first, least last.”
I ran to the back, didn’t want ANY confusion about where my experience level was. A cocky little teenager ran to the front. Good for you mate I thought, I’m happy to admit to be a complete wimp.
We began, very quickly I realised it was actually fun. Near the top of my never-in-a-million-years-did-i-think-i’d-do-it list, but fun nevertheless.
The cocky teenager, kept crashing into trees, he ‘found corners quite hard’. No shit. He could barely make it 10 yards without crashing into something, clearly he thought they were dodgems.
So this was all part of our CenterParcs experience weekend. Organised by the very lovely and very supermum-like NorthernMum. She has twin 4 year olds and a 4 month old baby whom she is breastfeeding and she organised this trip for 15 of us. She’s not a real human being, clearly.
A weekend of swimming, sliding, cycling, splashing, walking, talking, swinging (on swings I hasten to add, not the other kind), eating, lots of drinking, bbq-ing, laughing, and lots of half hearted attempts to appear to be in control of our children (actually that could just have been me and him).
It was ALOT of fun, and to top it off I had 3 hours in the spa this morning, half of the time I was actually asleep in the ‘cosy corner’ area.
The highlight was getting him indoors to babysit all the children while the rest of us went and played like 10 year olds on the water slides and rapids. My idea of proper fun on a Saturday night.
So I need your help. I am in a bit of a pickle. A month or so ago Eliza’s bedtime stalling tactics were driving me insane and making life REALLY difficult for all of us, and the 5.30am starts were frankly exhausting. So in a moment of desperation I gave her a dummy. After 1 1/2 years of not having one. It worked brilliantly for a bit. She went to bed no problem and slept till 7ish. But now she’s asking me for it in the day time by saying ‘she’s really tired’. I don’t want her to have it, she’s 3 years old in 2 weeks, she doesn’t need it, but I’m shitting myself about taking it away because I know it will provoke huge tears and despair (me) and hysteria (her).
Any advice on how to do this would be massively appreciated, or indeed any instructions on how to invoke the ‘dummy fairy’ in a convincing way.
As ever I am completely clueless. Characterised neatly by NorthernMum’s comment that I am indeed Mum of the Year after giving Eliza mini cheddars for breakfast today (well we were on holiday…).