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Ramraid in Tescos

“How many bottles of wine are you buying?” asked the checkout man in Tescos.

“Er, just two…is that okay?” said I, panicking slightly that Cameron had not only obliterated my child benefit but put in some new law about how much wine mothers could buy, although I was buggered if I could see how that would save the country money.

“Yes, but if you get 4 more you can get 25% off. It’s a good deal isn’t it and it ends today.”

“Yes it does sound good, but I’m fine. Thanks.” Seeing out of the corner of my eye that Eliza had commandeered the trolley and was about to whizz off with Tilly in the front.

“But why not? You have 2 anyway.” Eliza was now starting to push the trolley and gathering some speed.

“Well, because for a start I have 2 children to keep an eye on so can’t go and get it.” There she goes, just building up speed. Oh bollocks.

“Tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you!” Oh God he wasn’t letting this one go and actually, yes, that would be quite good, but then there’s the choice – it’s not a case of saying ‘oh yes grab me some Sauvingon’ him indoors can be rather particular about wine.

“No honestly I’m…oh shit. Eliza stop!”

But I was too late. She had ramraided Tilly against the end of the checkout and Tilly was revving up to screach the store down.  Not that I blamed her it did look a bit hard. So naturally I picked her up and cuddled her, whilst trying to tell Eliza off.

“So shall I get you the wine then?”

Tesco’s you have great customer service but Jesus Christ I’m dealing now with two screaming toddlers (Eliza always weighs in so as not to give Tilly centre stage) I DON’T WANT ANYMORE WINE!

The shopping was piling up in the bagging area and my kids were showing no signs of calming down, so I did what all good mothers do. Broke open the biscuits and bribed them to be quiet so Mummy could finish packing the shopping.

And now I have started on bottle number 1.

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