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I have reached a new low

Sometimes I try and remember what sort of Mummy I thought  I’d be before Eliza was even a twinkle in her dad’s eye. I think I had an idea I wouldn’t stand for any crap, I’d be firm but fair. I’d do lots of arts and crafts with them and we’d play silly games in the garden in the summer. Her Dad would build the children a Wendy House and we’d all sit in the lovely sunny garden which would have the scent of jasmine and hollyhocks growing up the wall.

Fast forward a few years and I do manage the odd crafty thing, we do play lots of very silly games and I have it on good authority that Grandpa will build a Wendy House next summer. I have a lovely garden but no jasmine but I do have hollyhocks.

But I’m not firm but fair. I’m a total pushover. I’m also badly inconsistent and I use bribery far too much.  However tonight was a new low, even by my lax standards.

After a full on 22 minute tantrum whereby Eliza threw herself on the floor repeatedly and screamed so much she made herself sick, she calmed down and cuddled me.  But was tearful and tricksy.  She wouldn’t go to bed happily and I just wanted to see her smile.

So I gave her Maltesers. Well only 4. But they made her smile.

I left her room.

It went quiet for a bit.

Tilly started up so I went in and gave her some milk.

Came downstairs and lit a fire.  Then Eliza started walking down the stairs, I went out and met her half way just in time as she tripped and fell into my arms.  So of course we needed more Maltesers to get over the shock. Both of us.

All quiet now.

Long may that continue. I’ve run out of Maltesers.

What’s your lowest parenting moment?


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