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Shepherd’s Ate Pie

One of the very best things about being my girls’ mother is the conversations we have. The ones in the car are good, or over a meal (I say over quite literally since I am normally dodging something being slung in my direction), but the best are normally when they are in the bath and I’m sat on the loo seat with my feet up on the sink, taking the weight off for ten minutes or so.  Lately the bath has been a ‘cafe’ and Eliza has been the owner and Tilly the designated ‘helper’.  I’m the customer. Clearly.

So what’s on the menu I hear you ask?  Well I’m glad you did.

“Mummy tonight you can have eggs, milk and butter. But you don’t cook it.”

“Sounds lovely. Are you sure you don’t cook it?”

“No. And it’s got fish in it.”

“Mmm..(gag) what’s it called?”

“Shepherd’s Ate Pie.” I can’t even think what this might be in real life. Shepherd’s Ale Pie? Surely not, I’ve never knowingly shoved a can of Old Scroat in a shepherds pie for the girls.

Regardless of where it came from she went about the process of ‘making’ the pie. This involves getting Tilly to fill up an old plastic bottle with bathwater, pouring it into a plastic cup then putting it on the side of the bath, precariously. This bit doesn’t always work hence we have a brown stain on the ceiling in the playroom which is below the bath. I was about to suggest moving the ‘pie’ when Eliza told me this:

“I’m actually a Mummy called Daisy and I’m 82 and she (Tilly) is my daughter called Missy and she’s 8.”

Tilly had other ideas:

“I’m a barn owl.”

“No, you’re my daughter.” Eliza said, laying down the law.

“Ok.” She knows her place.

“You are our brother called Harry and you are 6.”  Of course I am.

I think my children are very entertaining. If, when I am 82, I have a daughter who is 8 I might be slightly concerned but their innocence and imagination has me in awe. It never fails to bring me into the here and now, who cares about a tough week at work, Christmas shopping, Little Mix singing a Damion Rice classic and the lack of an oven to cook Christmas dinner when you have little people like these?



  1. I want to know where the fish fits! Wonderful. Thank you for sharing with those of us who don’t have little ones around to entertain!

  2. ‘I’m a barn owl’ – love it!

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