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Just Listen to Yourself

Him indoors and I went out the other night.  It was the school quiz night, which was actually very good fun.  It being in a school meant we were all sitting around rather low tables on grown up size chairs which when combined with free flowing wine and much knee jerking and air punching caused by over zealous quiz answers meant the tables were liable to be upended at any moment.

I muttered to him, “Concentrate on what you’re doing,” as his knees were jiggling as if shot through with 50 volts.  He looked at me as if to say “I’m 35 not 5.” At which point I realised that so much of what I now say is buried deep into my lexicon and might never leave me.

Other things I am in danger of saying to adults are:

1. What’s the magic word? (I have actually said this to a fellow director in the agency I work for, I fronted it out “Well? You should say please, it’s polite.”)

2. Careful you’re about to knock that cup/glass with your elbow.

3. Don’t snatch, you must share.

4. Well done! Aren’t you clever. (again this has been said at work)

5. Don’t forget to wipe your bum (fortunately this hasn’t. Yet)

6. Did you wash your hands?

7. If you don’t get in the car/put your coat on/get your shoes on I’m going without you (still as ineffective as the first day I said it about 4 years ago).

And my personal favourite:

8. No, you’re right darling, I know absolutely nothing at all. Not a sausage.

Although it’s a close run thing with:

9. Well if you don’t invite me to your party then it’s not going to be much of a party is it? (normally said under my breath whilst retreating to a safe distance).

Or this one:

10. I’m so sorry darling but all the glitter and glue is gone, we don’t have any left. At all. Anywhere.

Many of these I know I say ad-infinitum because Eliza and now Tilly repeat them back to me or indeed say them to each other.  They invariably shout them at each other (no idea where they get that from), apart from number 4 that Eliza now says to Tilly which is very sweet. 



  1. Hahaha have similar problems not turning off the Mummy brain when at work – particular favourite is the hard stare with one eyebrow raised waiting for please or thank you… ooops

  2. Great! I often find myself making funny noises – those which I’d make to entertain my 9month old. Often results in odd looks! So far have managed to avoid using baby phrases in a work setting, though that may change as he gets older!

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