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The Things I Have Learnt

The things I have learnt about parenting are many and varied. Learning on the job, the kids are constantly in ‘beta’, never fully bug free and as their parent you’re always trying to stop everything from crashing. Although this happens a lot and full scale meltdown is also highly likely.

Things I have learnt

The girls at 3 and 5 years. Perfect Victorian children

It’s a hard job. When they’re babies it’s unrelenting sleep deprivation and constant worry, when they are toddler’s it’s the development of ‘mum-eye’ to assess any situation for sharp objects, potential death threats, or things they can destroy. Pre school is about dealing with their many frustrations and school is a whole different ball game, that I am currently learning.

There are many things that I have learnt. At the ages of 3 1/2 and 5 and 3 months here are ten that might make be helpful.

1. All children are different. This is a single most important thing I have learnt. You can treat both in the same way but they will react in different ways. Nature trumps nurture in this respect.

At times they will be monsters

At times they will be monsters

2. At 7am in the morning, pulling a sledge with 2 excited screaming children can actually be fun. Weird.

"They don't call me Speedy for nothing Mummy"

“They don’t call me Speedy for nothing Mummy”

3. You will never stop worrying that they are safe. (Which has the unfortunate side effect of waking most nights to check they are in their beds.)

4. They have to make their own friendships. There’s just nothing you can do about that. Seeing them cry because so and so won’t let them join in the game is hard, but it’s life. I haven’t quite mastered dealing with this one this one yet.

5. While they are little they will always wake up early. Deal with it.

6. With kids come mess. And plastic. And glitter. Do NOT spend money on decorating the house.

7. The presence of their parents is worth more than any toys. Sentimental perhaps, but true.

8. If I’m stressed, they’re stressed. And their stress manifests in some pretty awful behaviour. Nurture trumps nature in this respect.

9. One day they will make me breakfast in bed.

10. I will always make mistakes. It’s human nature, there’s no point getting upset about that. See point 8.

I have also learnt that there are times when you have to let them try and battle out their own issues whether that’s trying to get dressed themselves or opening the lid of the marmite. They’ll just shout at you if you try and help and who likes being shouted at?

Oh and one REALLY important one.

11. Don’t ever think you’ve cracked it. From sleeping through the night (my kids did as babies, not so much now), to foods they like to clothes they want to wear, it’s an ever moving circus. Nothing really ever stays the same for long.

And that’s half the fun.

The Annual Snowman Building event

The Annual Snowman Building event

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Comments

  1. I can so identify with this! My toddler begins Nursery tomorrow, I’m terrified she won’t make friends. Don’t know why because she is perfectly sociable and gets stuck in but…The worry never stops when you’re a parent. Though I wouldn’t change it for the world!

  2. Great post – I found myself nodding away. I wholeheartedly agree with number 8 and am making a real effort to be calmer and generally a lot more fun. Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don’t but I’m getting so much better at taking a deep breath and quashing the shout that wants to come out.

    • itsamummyslife says:

      Number 8 is hard to achieve. Some days it’s just really hard to stay calm, but then you have days where you wonder why you get so stressed. All part of motherhood’s rich pattern I guess x

  3. I’ve had a lesson in 8 and 10 this week, I was starting to think ‘mother’s guilt’ was inevitable but I guess it’s more about perspective, I’ve been reading about mindfulness and mothering and it’s been a big eye opene, a rich pattern describes it well!

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