A few weeks ago I had a chat with Eliza about life, the universe and controlling her anger. I suggested she might take a few deep breaths when she felt herself getting angry, she suggested I might like to stop ‘being so mean’ to her and promptly burst into tears. That worked out then. When I asked her what had upset her so much she said that she didn’t know how to do deep breaths. It’s a tricky one really, not quite sure how to teach her, but at least we’re discussing it in a more constructive way. Progress is being made.
So I decided that perhaps a reward chart would be a good thing. My daughter is very concerned with cause and affect and she likes things to be logical, she’s not good with abstract theories. Neither am I really. I like the basic idea of a reward chart. Do something good and get a sticker, get 5 stickers and get something you want. She suggested I have one too, so that it’s fair. I like that idea too.
So Eliza (and Tilly of course) got a bicycle basket when they got their stickers and when I got 5 stickers on my reward chart (lots of deep breaths and referring to “Peaceful parents, Peaceful kids“) I got to buy some new clothes. The rewards grow exponentially with age clearly.
I went to Mint Velvet, which is my favourite shop at the moment and here’s what I bought:
I admit to buying the skinny jeans because the lady in the shop was wearing a pair and when I asked if I could buy some she said “Yes of course, I’ll got and get you a pair – size 8 is it?” That kind of flattery never fails.
I’m now busy being very calm and peaceful and I even played with the children in the soft play yesterday, because I want 5 more stickers. There’s a lovely pair of shoes I’m after.
This reward chart thing really works. Oh and the girls are getting the hang of it too of course, which is (ahem) the most important thing.