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How to Remain Patient and Calm When Children Won’t Stop Whining

This is a guest post from a working nanny. For someone who struggles to remain calm when the kids are whining, this article has some really helpful hints on how to keep things in perspective, it’s a very practical guide. Well worth a read.

It takes a great deal of patience when raising children. You may take classes and read all of the books, but it still doesn’t prepare you for reality nearly as much as you would hope. This is because that all children are unique. Each one has a specific personality that you need to adapt to. Keeping your cool when the children are whining incessantly has to be a priority in your life, though.

1. Breathing
No adult wants to listen to a child whine about anything. It can grind on your mind like a shredder on a block of cheddar cheese. Taking deep breaths through the episode can help keep you centered and quell your own temper from unleashing. Deep breaths help in many stressful situations to help calm you down. The non-stop whining of a six-year-old is one of those stressful situations.

2. Focus -
In almost a meditative state, you can focus your mind on something else other than the cries of a child. Close your eyes and concentrate on something other than your child. Maybe you can mull your mind over what kind of improvements would be most beneficial in the kitchen. Concentrate on the vacuum of space and how small life really is on this planet. Think about anything regardless of how absurd it is to take your mind from your child.

3. The Outdoors
If need be, send the child to his or her room and go outside to sit and relax. If you have a yard that you can lay on, do so. Lay on your back and close your eyes. Feel the frustration permeate out and into the soil below you. Visualize that you are laying on the Earth which connects you to various places. Thousands of miles below you, another parent could be doing the same thing.

4. Calm Voices
Instead of raising your voice, speak softer. The child is going to want to hear what you have to say in case it is something they want to hear. By speaking in a soft tone, they will reduce their own volume to hear you. Before long, you and the child could be talking at levels that are below normal for either one of you. Some have found that this method can also decrease the volume of a raging teenager. They want to know what you’re saying and will concentrate more on your voice by not raising theirs.

5. Tuned Out
Not everyone can manage this ability. Most of the time, it seems that women are especially good at tuning out what they don’t want to hear. Sometimes, Mom can calmly continue with the daily chores while a child is whining as Dad’s temper continues to rise. This “tuning out” is actually similar to changing your focus. While increased volumes from the child can make this next to impossible, it’s still a viable method for keeping yourself from making the situation worse. Keep your mind occupied with something else or concentrate on sounds beyond that of the whining child.

You should never give in to the child regardless of how much he or she whines or cries. This will undoubtedly create a pattern of behavior. While each child is different in personality, some fundamentals are always a constant. If the children figure out that they can bend your will by whining, it will become a habitual practice that will be increasingly difficult to break.

Author Bio

Sara is an active nanny as well as an active freelance writer. She is a frequent contributor of http://www.nannypro.com/. Learn more about her http://www.nannypro.com/blog/sara-dawkins/.

*disclosure* this is not paid content



  1. Oh the moaning and whining! It really does absolutely drive us up a wall. I definitely agree with tuning out and not giving in – but really like the strategy of changing your volume so that they lower theirs also. Works very well at work in meetings too!

  2. Lowering your own volume does really work, my Dad always used it on me. It irritated the hell out of me as a teenager – but it always worked.

  3. Lowering your voice does work but the rest of the article is quite surreal. Basically it’s saying to just find a way to ignore your child until they stop! From the child’s perspective that’s pretty awful. When children whine and moan it’s generally not just because they are trying to be annoying to adults, it’s because they have a need that’s not being met and they only have childish, immature ways of telling you that (like whining). Ignoring them only makes them feel less heard and more frustrated (and more likely to whine).
    I agree that you should never give in to whining. However, it’s far better to acknowledge that your child isn’t feeling good, let them know that you understand they would really like to do whatever it is that you don’t want them to do and then move them on to something else. Asking if your child needs a cuddle to calm down and feel better can also take the edge off a child’s frustration or upset. Children need help to understand and move through difficult feelings – having the most important person in their life ignore them will only make them feel worse.

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