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A little bit is lost

There are some things you do each and every day with your children that you know will end at some point but that’s just it, it’s at ‘some point’. It’s not defined or clearly mapped out. You can’t plan for it. And so one day you find yourself reading a bedtime story to your eldest child and the next day she’s less interested in listening because she wants to read it herself, and then finally there comes a time when she’s not really interested in Mummy reading to her anymore at all. If I had known that when I’d finished reading her the Mrs Pepperpot stories that would be the last time we’d share that special time together I’d probably not have begrudged doing it so much.

Anyone who’s ever had to read two children 3 stories each one after the other will know that even with the very best will in the world, it can get a bit tiresome at times. Particularly when you have read the same book approximately 50,000 times. Eliza got into having chapter books, I really enjoyed re-reading all the Roald Dahl stories to her, particularly Danny Champion of the World which is one my favourites and I have fond memories of my mother reading it to me.

But as with all things to do with the passing of time and our children growing up, I’ll really miss it now. I’m sure she’ll occasionally want me to read to her again, and of course Tilly is still my biggest fan when it comes to stories, but it’s something that has all but passed with Eliza.

I know this may seem sentimental but humour me, I don’t write very often these days anyway. But she really is growing up fast. She does a runner from me as soon as we walk through the school gates, never kissing me goodbye unless I grab her in a headlock and don’t let her move until she’s had a hug. She’s six years old and she feels like a teenager. I miss my little Eliza Cakes (as she was known but will not countenance now). Her land of make believe is rapidly disappearing, she’s interested in facts and science and the way the world works. She’s a black and white sort of girl, there are very few grey areas, either’s somethings A or it’s B. She has a curiosity and thirst for knowledge that is quite awesome at times. That leaves little room for a sentimental mother who wants cuddles and bedtime stories.

She is just growing up and that’s a good thing. I’m delighted with the girl she is becoming, she makes me proud every day. She has a smile to break a million hearts. And I have no doubt that she will do.

I love you my Eliza Cakes and I’ll never let you stop cuddling your Mummy and every now and then I will read to you again just because you are my daughter and it’s what mothers do.


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