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The blog about why I haven’t blogged

Dear Blog

I’m so sorry I’ve neglected you. I never thought I’d be the type to build something up, make it flourish and grow and then just when it became dependent upon my regular nurturing, cruelly cast it aside in favour of all manner of other things we call life. How very dare I? And how dare I deprive those people anxiously awaiting my next fascinating, insightful and eloquent post of their regular instalment. Because I know you are many and I know you will be relieved to read this.

Ok, no one really gave a damn, apart from my Dad, who, over a rather good roast chicken (I do a good roast I must confess), said I had to write if for no other reason than to remove the incredibly depressing previous post’s title from the front. He has a point. I was in a dark place back then.

But things are different now. My children are indeed growing up. And this comes with some incredibly positive side effects; they wake up at 7ish rather than 5.30, they let us stay in bed for a bit before jumping on the bed, they can be left to play for a bit while I do something else like..er.. the washing or tidying. As you can see the hands off approach is better suited to me. I mean don’t get me wrong I have loved every moment of their lives, but the lack of ANY downtime in the toddler years is not something I miss.

Over the summer many things happened:

1. We went camping. Twice. It rained both times, but weirdly that didn’t seem to matter. What on earth has happened to me? I ENJOYED it.

Campfire building

Campfire building

Pub and bedtime. What's wrong with that?

Pub and bedtime. What’s wrong with that?

2. We took a four hour ferry trip to Jersey on a very choppy sea. Tilly threw up and I looked at one spot on the wall for 2 hours solid to avoid doing the same. Less enjoyable.

3. We went to a wonderful wedding and whilst looking at the happy couple and the shere loveliness of it all him indoors and I remembered why we got married in the first place. Yes ok probably too much and I don’t want your roast lunch making another appearance, but suffice it to say we had a very lovely summer as a family.

4. Oh yes, I resigned back in January and I finally left my big grown up job in London in June. I am now running my own company, which I suppose is also quite big and grown up. It’s amazing and I am loving it. I love being my own boss, I love working with a great business partner and I love the freedom it has given me. And yes it comes with all sorts of it’s own risks and worries, but it’s mostly just really exciting. I’d got to the point where I was missing the point of why I started in PR and I became too caught up in all the ancillary stuff that goes with management. Now I’m able to do what I’m good at doing and so far clients are appreciating it. I’ve kind of found my passion for it again.

Having children didn’t kill my ambition but the restrictions of conventional work life nearly did. I’m on good terms with the old company so it all feels right.

5. Too many more things to list. The girls have been challenging, enlightening, entertaining, maddening, delightful, heavenly, hideous and horrible. But mostly wonderful. They are now in year 1 (Tilly) and year 2 (Eliza). That’s so BIG. How did that even happen? Weren’t they babies not long ago? Sleep deprivation was my permanent condition. How times change.

The last few months, actually the last few years, have been extremely up and down. In the words of that great musician Ronan Keating, it’s been a rollercoaster. It’s still a rollercoaster, in fact probably more so in many ways. But I feel settled inside, I feel like myself in a truer sense than I’ve felt for a long time.

And with that, dear blog, I promise not to leave you for so long again. I’ve just been a bit busy, a bit too much going on and a bit not sure of how to put it all down. But I need this place to write and I want to remember it all when I’m old and grey(er) and my kids are desperately embarrassed by it.

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Comments

  1. Lots of positive reasons for being too busy to blog. You sound happy, that’s good.

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