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Dystopian Reality

tao of pooh

Coronavirus. One of things that belongs in a book, probably by George Orwell or maybe Margaret Atwood if she was feeling cheerful. It’s taken everyone by surprise, off guard, trousers down. We’re all in shock. Is that happening now in the modern day? Now when we have so much technology to do everything for us? Can something as seemingly normal as a virus actually floor us to this extent? Of course it can. And to many on the internet we knew it was coming, I know, I watched the Bill Gates Ted Talk.

But I don’t think I ever expected it to get to this extreme. Working from home, sensible. Not going out in big groups, makes sense. But only going out for one form of exercise a day. A day?? That’s it, that’s your lot because we asked you to be sensible and you weren’t you all flocked to bloody Snowdonia ffs! Really? Is that our response to crisis? Let’s not all gather together on the tube or in the office, let’s gather together up a sodding mountain. Maybe now is the time to take a note from Winnie the Pooh and just be for a bit.

The very reality of being trapped at home, the home I love by the way, for 12 weeks minimum is too big to comprehend. Like trying to understand the size of the universe or how Father Christmas gets down the chimney, it’s just not possible to comprehend. And it’s not just us. It’s the entire goddamn WORLD. I can’t compute this.

My business is steadily reducing. When most of your clients supply to hotels, bars and pubs what do you expect when we’ve all been told not to go to those places. Can we ride this out? I have no idea at this point. I hope so. I really do because we’ve spent 6 years building it and I can’t watch it collapse.

The home-schooling is just absurd. I never wanted to be a teacher, my kids don’t want me to be a teacher. I am trying to keep them happy and healthy and isn’t that enough? I’ll make sure they do a few . educational type of things but beyond that forget it. I’m trying to hang on to my business, my sanity and my health and I can’t throw in a curveball like be an amazing teacher too. The girls are doing so well. They have adapted. I mean so far, it can all change in a heartbeat as anyone with kids knows. But for now they’re getting on with the new normal. I thought I was too, but today was different. It felt weird. I felt odd. Displaced more than last week. It’s probably reality hitting.

Don’t get me wrong I know these are the right measures to put in place, I know we must be sensible and I know we want to get this shit over as soon as we can. I know the doctors and nurses are amazing and I admire them so much. I don’t have any illnesses neither do my children and we are all very lucky in many ways. We don’t rely on foodbanks (yet) or need hospital visits. It’s just that life is weird. It’s a dystopian reality I didn’t want to live in.

But for every weird moment I’m more grateful that my ‘normal’ life was, and will be again, so free and so varied, so full of people and things and playing hockey. I’ll never take any of it for granted again. I actually mean that. Send a plague of frogs or locusts or whatever the hell you want if I ever forget it.

Here’s one of my paintings. Red Poppies mean happiness.



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